From Gaslight to Daylight

Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Reconciliation — From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ Forgiveness Doesn't Mean Reconciliation And You Don't Owe Them Either One By Hollie Marble Nobody warns you about the forgiveness police. You survive something devastating - something that took years off your life and rewired your nervous system - and then, before the dust has even settled, here they come. Your pastor. Your aunt. The inspirational quote on your cousin's Facebook wall. Forgiveness is for you, not for them. Let it go. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison. And maybe you nod. Maybe you even try. But somewhere underneath the nodding is a voice screaming - you have no idea what you're asking me to swallow instead. That's the thing about forgiveness advice - it almost always comes from people who have never been systematically dismantled by someone who claimed to love ...

Leaving A Toxic Relationship? Your No-Bullshit Guide For Getting Through The First Month | From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Recovery - The Early Days Leaving A Toxic Relationship? Your No-Bullshit Guide For Getting Through The First Month What actually happens in those thirty days - and how to survive it without losing your mind. By Hollie Marble  |  From Gaslight to Daylight Nobody sat me down and told me what the first month would actually feel like. Everyone said "you're so brave" and "you did the right thing" and "you're going to be so much happier." And I wanted to believe them. I really did. But in the first thirty days? Brave wasn't even in my vocabulary. Terrified was. Gutted was. What-the-hell-did-I-just-do was. I was free and I was falling and those two things felt exactly the same. So here's what I wish someone had actually said to me. ...

Recovery Tools | Getting Help | By Hollie Marble Finding a Trauma-Informed Therapist Because not just any therapist will do | From Gaslight to Daylight Therapy can help. But the wrong kind of therapy, with the wrong person, at the wrong time, can make you feel like you are back in the same damn room trying to prove your reality again. The right therapist should not make you feel like you are on trial. They should help you stop living like you are. I know someone who finally worked up the courage to go to therapy after years of narcissistic abuse. She sat down across from a licensed, credentialed, well-meaning therapist, told her story, and walked out an hour later feeling worse than when she walked in. Not because the therapist was cruel. Because the therapist did not understand what she was looking at. The therapist gently suggested she consider her ex’s perspective. Wondered aloud whether maybe both people played a r...

Their New Supply Isn't "Winning" — From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ Their New Supply Isn't "Winning" They're Next By Hollie Marble You saw the post. Or maybe someone told you. Or maybe you went looking - you swore you wouldn't but you did - and there it was. I did that. More than once. Told myself I was just checking, just one quick look, and then sat there with my stomach on the floor staring at vacation photos and couple selfies and a gushing caption about "finally finding my person." And something in me just - cracked. Because it looked like they changed. It looked like the thing I'd begged for, cried for, nearly destroyed myself trying to create - the good version of them, the version that shows up and stays and loves well - they just gave it to someone else. They didn't. And I need you to hear that before the spiral pulls you under - because I know exactly how fast that spir...

No Contact vs. Low Contact — From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ No Contact vs. Low Contact Which One Is Right for You? By Hollie Marble One of the first things you'll hear when you start learning about narcissistic abuse recovery is "go no contact." And for a lot of people, no contact is the gold standard. The clean break. The locked door. The ultimate act of self-preservation. But here's the truth that gets lost in that advice: no contact isn't always possible. And it isn't always the right move for everyone. Sometimes low contact is the more realistic, more sustainable, more honest choice - and choosing it doesn't make you weak. It makes you strategic. So let's talk about both. What they actually mean, what they require, who they work for, and how to figure out which one fits your real, messy, complicated life. What No Contact Actually Means No contact means exactly what it sounds like. Zero co...

You're Not "Too Sensitive" — From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ From Gaslight to Daylight ♦ You're Not "Too Sensitive" You Were Trained to Believe That By Hollie Marble How many times did you hear it? I heard it constantly. From him, and eventually from the voice in my own head that started to sound exactly like his. You're too sensitive. You're overreacting. You take everything so personally. It was just a joke. You can't handle anything. Why do you always have to make a big deal out of nothing? After enough repetitions, you started to believe it. Not all at once. But slowly, like water wearing down stone, the message carved itself into you until it felt like a fact. A fundamental truth about your character. I am too sensitive. I do overreact. There is something wrong with the way I feel things. There isn't. There never was. And the person who told you otherwise had a very specific reason for needing you to believe ...